The United States of Esoterica

The Lesnar-Cena tussle fell flat.

Yeah, we really believe that it takes the entire roster to keep those two apart.


Santino cracks me up every week. He's the best thing the WWE has going, really.

_________________
"I didn't need to learn what I learned today." -- Jesse Ventura.
"There is but one special interest that we should be working for, and that would solve just about all of our problems, and that is our liberty. " - Ron Paul.

This Three Stooges/fake Hulkster/Kane bit may have set Raw back about 15 years.

_________________
"I didn't need to learn what I learned today." -- Jesse Ventura.
"There is but one special interest that we should be working for, and that would solve just about all of our problems, and that is our liberty. " - Ron Paul.

WWE has been boring for the last few years. At least since last years Mania with the focus of the show being The Rock. Then a years build to a match between him and Cena (which it made more sense for Cena to win) and not a mention of him since April 2.

The best thing going in wrestling today is Bully Ray and the Storm/Roode angle in TNA, but since it's TNA it doesn't matter if they were having the best shows night in and night out, people will still tune into WWE instead because of the brand recognition.

Oh, and when it comes to Lesnar, his aura disappears once he opens his mouth. He's really the white Bobby Lashley.

Apologist to the rescue!

The Cena/Brock fight didn't fall flat. Here, I think you are high. The crowd was way into it and Cena got bloodied, which never happens. Having all the wrestlers run out to the ring was preposterous, sure... but awesome.

This one's weird to me because they can't really bring Brock in and have him lose right out of the gate to Cena. On the other hand, can Cena afford to lose to the Rock and Brock in a row?

So I really don't know what the outcome will be and I like that.

The Three Stooges were supposed to look like they'd set WWE back 15 years, which is why Kane came out and destroyed Curly. Really, the Stooges set The Stooges back 45 years because THOSE ARE NOT THE THREE STOOGES! WTF? Can I just do a parallel Pee Wee Herman impression? What about Bobcat Goldthwait? He's not using that crazy voice anymore--can I make a movie with another guy called Bobcat Goldthwait and have him do it?

Hollywood. So very out of ideas.

I fully expect the Santino kids movie at a theater near you any day now.Or maybe do a foreign exchange student PG-13 flick with him as lead. Something.

_________________
I come bearing gifts.

Now I must step in as the anti-apologist to counterbalance Vaeni's analysis.

As discussed in an earlier drunken phone call, WWE has failed on the Brock Lesnar experiment already. They have made him just another wrestler. As what happened w. Flair (in his original WWF run), WCW (see: 'invasion' angle), and Goldberg (he wore Goldust's wig in the first 2 weeks of his debut!). WWE cannot book an outsider angle, period, end of story.

The outcome will probably be some kind of schmoz. Cena via DQ or Lesnar via stoppage or an outside interference festivus. Also, you don't blow Lesnar's 1st match back on the April PPV. That's madness. By SummerSlam, Lesnar will be as bland as Kane. Trust me. So much so that I bet those two actually fight at some point before then.

On another note, but related to your post, I anxiously await being 60 years old and seeing the long-awaited Bobcat Goldthwait biopic. Let's hope the dude can do Bobcat's voice well.

Double sidenote: Santino is excellent. Best WWE character in years. It's insane that it took all this time to actually utilize him in the proper fashion. He's everything that Eugene should have been.

_________________
"Give a lunatic a keyboard and a modem and that's what happens." -- Jeff Rense, 2.25.5

"An artist has got to be constantly in a state of becoming." -- Bob Dylan

I hear Warren the Ape has some free time. WWE might even boost their ratings.

Cena was bloodied?
He looked like someone smeared a bunch of lipstick on him. Even Cena being bloodied fell flat.


The crowd was hyped for Lesnar coming back, only because it had been expected all weekend. I didn't think there was extra pop from what actually transpired in the ring.


The WWE did a disservice to all of the characters that came out to break Cena and Lesnar apart.

Think about it.

Alberto Del Rio, the guy who comes out in six-figure automobiles and has his own personal ring announcer, was out in that mess. How does that jive with his character? It doesn't. He shouldn't give two shits about whether Cena and Lesnar fight.



----
Santino race-walking is to the ring -- or away from Kane -- cracks me up.

_________________
"I didn't need to learn what I learned today." -- Jesse Ventura.
"There is but one special interest that we should be working for, and that would solve just about all of our problems, and that is our liberty. " - Ron Paul.

"As discussed in an earlier drunken phone call, WWE has failed on the Brock Lesnar experiment already. They have made him just another wrestler"

Yes, and per the discussion, as with your viewing... you were drunk! What do you mean they've made him just another wrestler? They made him a monster conqueror of everything from WWE to MMA who could only be pulled off of Cena with the help of the entire locker room.

Redsonsuperman, your hatred for WWE clouds your vision. The crowd was way into it. Stunned, shocked, manscaped by the bloodied Cena. (Probably not manscaped.) And I'm guessing he really was bloodied by that stray punch to the mouth. I don't think it was staged.

That the locker room emptied doesn't make them look weak. We've been trained to know that Cena is the face of WWE and Brock is this unstoppable monster from outside the universe. From a parallel universe, if you will. (Will you?) So, we already know there's a pecking order: Cena, everybody else. Plus, our memories are shit and forgiveness level for the writing uniquely high. No one will remember or care that top wrestlers ran out to break up a fight making them look like mid-carders.

_________________
I come bearing gifts.

Switching back and forth between Raw and Verlander pitching for Tigers. ....

Lesnar taped an interview. Probably a good thing, as they likely had a bunch of do overs.


Sherlock Holmes bit was awful.


Santonio taking off all the Premier League soccer jerseys was pretty awesome -- if you're a soccer fan.


TB -- Verlander hit 100mph on his seventh strikeout in the 5th inn. tonight.

_________________
"I didn't need to learn what I learned today." -- Jesse Ventura.
"There is but one special interest that we should be working for, and that would solve just about all of our problems, and that is our liberty. " - Ron Paul.

Lord Tensai character has already failed, so much so that the mid-carder turned Japanese warrior had to go with the green mist to defeat Cena tonight.


Great Kabuki wants his gimmick back. Vince should at least send him a check every time Tensai spits green.



Great Muta says if you're going to do the gimmick, then do it right!

_________________
"I didn't need to learn what I learned today." -- Jesse Ventura.
"There is but one special interest that we should be working for, and that would solve just about all of our problems, and that is our liberty. " - Ron Paul.

WWE improved their depiction of Lesnar tremendously tonight, although they essentially just ripped off UFC's style of promos.

I agree that the Tensai character is faltering badly. I had really high hopes for him, but I'm afraid that once WWE got Lesnar, they shelved their big plans for Tensai and he is pretty directionless right now. Hopefully they can turn it around before he sinks down into the midcard where A-Train used to reside.

_________________
"Give a lunatic a keyboard and a modem and that's what happens." -- Jeff Rense, 2.25.5

"An artist has got to be constantly in a state of becoming." -- Bob Dylan

Bored tonight watching RAW, which has really been boring.

15 guys who bring NOTHING to the WWE (and if I were part of creative, I'd fire immediately)

1. Khali
2. Lord Tensai
3. Mark Henry
4. Camacho
5. Hunico
6. Mason Ryan
7. Yoshi Tatsu
8. Epico
9. Primo
10. Zach Ryder
11. Titus O'Neil.
12. Evan Bourne
13. Dolph Ziggler
14. Drew MacIntyre
15. Alex Riley

Oh, and all the Divas.



P.S. Best sign of the night from Joe Louis Arena: Detroit Brock City.



Big mistake letting Lesnar use a mic for more than 10 seconds. That was beyond awful.

_________________
"I didn't need to learn what I learned today." -- Jesse Ventura.
"There is but one special interest that we should be working for, and that would solve just about all of our problems, and that is our liberty. " - Ron Paul.

Among that list, I agree with all but Ziggler. He's quite good and I had been a hater for a long, long time.

_________________
"Give a lunatic a keyboard and a modem and that's what happens." -- Jeff Rense, 2.25.5

"An artist has got to be constantly in a state of becoming." -- Bob Dylan

Buff Bagwell was reportedly in a serious car accident; Broken neck, am ong other injuries.

_________________
"I didn't need to learn what I learned today." -- Jesse Ventura.
"There is but one special interest that we should be working for, and that would solve just about all of our problems, and that is our liberty. " - Ron Paul.

But did the top hat survive?

_________________
"Give a lunatic a keyboard and a modem and that's what happens." -- Jeff Rense, 2.25.5

"An artist has got to be constantly in a state of becoming." -- Bob Dylan